So many broken hearts.
Working as a counselor, I come in direct contact with so many broken hearts on a daily basis, it can become overwhelming. The hurt and pain that numerous men, women, and children carry around in their souls is unfathomable. Sometimes wounds, decades old, that feel as fresh as the present, weigh down their dispositions, spirits, and strength.
Proverbs 18:14 confirms it, “A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?”
Many times, I feel like I am commanded to become like a bottomless reservoir of hope for the people I come in contact with. On those days, when I come home to face my own despair, I am left to scavenger for a hope to sustain me. I can be emptied out, as a mandate from God, but feel too weak to ask Him to replenish me.
Quench MY THIRST.
I’ve spent a laughable part of my life taking care of others’ emotions. I still do in some relationships, placing my own sanity, self-care, and emotions on the quintessential back-burner. There were certain periods of my life where I needed comforting, and I instead sought to comfort. (I bet that my grave’s headstone is going to say, “A Wounded Healer”.) One of the first impresssions that I obtained about God is that He is a Comforter. A Counselor. Because I had plenty vacancies available. There even came a time when I stopped asking for it and rested my outstretched hand at my side. I was already tired, even as a young person. And pleading for rest only made me more exhausted.
At times, I can become angry. Because I entertained the thought that I am to give my best to others, and I’m to settle for scraps. I even contemplated that my Lord is limited in His ability to provide me access to untainted, fresh strength and fortitude.
But, I don’t have to share my relationship with Him. Or wait in line for an audience with Him. He hears me now.
Wants me now.
…because I sure do need Him now. And always.
“And Lo, I am with you Always. Even unto the ends of time.” (Matthew 28:20)
I don’t have to manipulate, guilt-trip, or be resentful in secret towards Him. He not only already knows the depths of my heart, but He actually makes His presence known there.
So, when I spend countless hours a week extending hope, healing, and love to the brokenhearted, I can rest in the security that God is my Source. I will never run dry. And even in the event that I become weary, I have easy access to His heart.
“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” – Psalm 73:26, NLT