While watching Good Will Hunting (one of my favorite movies, by the way) with Nick, I looked at him and said its good to be a little self depreciating while attempting to reach people. He agreed:”Yeah. A little bit.”
I say this to establish that the following topic is not meant to make light of anyone else’s beliefs or passions.
I am probably at the heaviest weight I’ve been since I was at the climax of my pregnancy last year. I’m not fond of that fact, and am actively pursuing a change in that area, obviously. Oddly enough, immediately following that statement, I can say with full confidence another, seemingly contradictory one:
I’ve never been happier at any other point in my life.
The above picture is recent, at my daughter’s 1 year birthday party. I remember many things about that day: I remember momentarily stressing over how I felt in my outfit. (“This dress definitely looked better on me last month, didn’t it?”) But I also remember my daughter’s laughter and how she played. I remember hugging on beloved friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. I remember seeing the pride in my mom’s eyes. I look at this picture…and even though my eyes briefly sweep over flaws, I step back and see something massively more important.
Our smiles are genuine; Nick’s and I’s.
2014 was a test. A battle. And by Gods grace we were victorious. Stress and pain could have marred us but instead we shine.
God deserves all the boast: This year, I’m working in a job/position that I love and get fulfillment in. Nick is making amazing, tangible strides in a dream/vision he was born with. We have survived disappointments, closed doors, & lack.
I’ve gotten a few compliments recently. People telling me I look great. I laugh because I’m at least 30 lbs heavier than I was 2 years ago. Maybe people can see deeper.